The History of Love

     I just recently started reading a book called The History of Love. It is actually a really good book except it is very challenging. 

     I am not far into the book at all but so far is about a old man who lives in the city and he is actually kind of depressed. I think the author chose to write in the point of view of this man for a reason. There is a certain reputations for people that others just kind of assume.

     For example, people with a lot of friends are happy and have an exciting life. Or people that are alone are very sad and boring and this book proves that wrong. The man is not that boring. He may be alone but every day he does something even if he just stays in the apartment. 

     He even gets a job to be a nude model. i think the author is actually trying to reach out to the readers and saying something. Everyone has a life, feelings, and even if they are alone doesn't mean that they don't have a life. This guy may be a little depressed but he has things that matter. He has a best friend, bruno, he has an apartment and he lives in an amazing city.

     This guy thinks he is completely invisible he even goes out sometimes and bumps into people just so that they would know he was there. That is extremely sad but at least he is trying.

     Even if this book is extremely hard its also fascinating. And i hope as i go on, this guy can find some happiness, he deserves it. 

Shadowmaker

     I'm in the middle of "Shadowmaker" by Joan Lowery Nixon. In the book, I've noticed that the main character Katherine (Kate) Gillian has been having trouble admitting her feeling to people. It's almost like she's scared to let people know what she actually feels.     In the book, Kate seems to almost never really expresses the way she feels about certain things. For example, in the book, Kate loves ballet. But, she never admitted this to her mom. While on the beach, Katie starts doing some moves from Swan Lake, not knowing her mom can see her from their house. After she finishes, her mom goes up to her and asks "Katie, was it wrong for me to take you away from your lessons? You know what, we can go back to Houston". Then Katie proceeds to say that she doesn't "like ballet that much, it's just a hobby" even though Katie knows how much she loves to dance and how much she wants to move back so she can continue her lessons, but for some reason, she can't admit it to her mom.
     Katie also has problems telling the other people at her school how she feels as well. Like when she didn't know what to do when someone she doesn't like at all asks her to the dance.  When Billy asked her, she just said yes. Even though she doesn't even like Billy, and didn't want to go to the dance. She just didn't know how to tell him no without either him or her getting made fun of by the other kids in the school. Even though this example is a little different,  I think it still shows the difficulty she has telling others what she thinks.
     I think Katie is just afraid of disapointing people. Now it's only halfway through the book, but I'm already getting that from her. How she doesn't want to say no to people, or admit her interests or that she really wants something. These are just some of the things that lead me to think that Katie is more worried about others happiness, rather than he own.

Perfect

     Recently, I read a really great book called "Perfect" by Natasha Friend. Natasha Friend was also the author of the book "Lush" which was also a really good book. Perfect is about a girl named Isabelle and she has an eating disorder called bulimia which is a very serious disorder. You throw up on purpose to be skinnier.
     Isabelle is only thirteen years old and already she has been through so much. Her dad died and everything turned upside down for her. She started throwing up and it wasn't even supposed to mean something the first time. She was in the bathroom and it just happened. But then she starts doing it more and more and it becomes an addiction and a huge problem.
Isabelles mom makes her go to therapy and everything to make her better but it doesn't exactly work.
     Bulimia is really scary and it can damage your body and it can be so bad as it can kill you. Throwing up all the time is not safe and it has side effects like your teeth yellowing.
I think that Isabelle really just needed her dad. she was hurting and she just got all caught up with being skinny and once you are in such a dark place like that we all know that it is extremely hard to get out. When Isabelle was in therapy she met a friend named Ashley that had the same problem and they even ended up doing it together. A lot of people think its stupid and of course you can control yourself but thats not the case at all, it is a serious eating disorder.
When people are bulimic sometimes what they do is eat a lot, like  an abnormal amount of food and then throw it all up.     One line that really stands out for me is, “When you believe in something, stand up for it, even if everyone is sitting.” i think that this line really means a lot like isabelle needs to believe in herself so she can stop throwing up even if she has to do it alone. I did not realize how serious and common this issue was among teenage girls. After reading this book I am now more aware. 

The Secret Life of Bees

     I am currently reading The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. It is a really fantastic book and it is set in the 1960's. It tells the story of a fourteen year old girl named Lily Owens. I am not that far into the book but so far its mostly about how Lily's mom died when she was four years old. Her and her dad have a tough relationship and the mom's death has been extremely rough on the whole family.
     Lily has a lot of questions with things like growing up and things that she can only ask her mom. That is where her “step in mother” Rosaleen comes in. This story sets place where there were slaves and black people were treated awful and Rosaleen was black. But she is like a mother to Lily.

     I think the author chose to write in first person of Lily’s perspective for a reason. The author chose to leave out other really important people in the story for a reason. Someone’s perspective who is missing is the dad’s. the author makes it seem like the dad is a really bad guy but the dad is also hurting a lot from the Mom’s death just like Lily. The dad is really harsh on Lily and I think they author didn’t put him in the story because it shows how hard Lily’s life is. If the readers knew also how the dad felt they wouldn’t feel as bad for Lily and I think the author wants people to feel bad for her. 

Looks

     In the book “Looks” by Madeline Geroge, there is a very big plot line. It is about two girl who are outcasts. One is names Aimee and the other is named Meghan. They both have weight problems and the story is told in two different perspectives. The perspectives are the two girls and the way the author writes the book, it seems like the two girls are completely opposite when that isn’t entirely true. Meghan is very overweight and Aimee is way too skinny. They look very different but they aren’t that different in personality.  In life, they both have no friends and they are both outcasts.

     Both girls try to lower themselves. Aimee tries to make herself weigh less and Meghan tries that too. Also, neither of them have very high expectations of themselves. They both think of themselves as losers and people that will never make it. In fact, that is not true at all and they really shouldn’t think that low of themselves because its sad to hear. They are not like that. Also, Aimee mentions throughout the entire story that she needs an escape from not eating, and although I'm not exactly sure how because I've never been in that position, I can understand how having an escape might be necessary. They both need escapes from the ton of kids at school, and I see how that may end up causing stress on a person. Sometimes, I get nervous before tests or drama performances or interviews or even essays. A thing you can do is to take a break from stressing over what you are nervous of and instead have a relative escape.

     Although the two girls are very much the same, they are also different. Meghan actually wanted to have friends at first. She tried to talk to people and when they ignored her she was sad and upset. But for Aimee it was different. She was not interested in other people. She was going to just mind her business and not worry about other people. And in that way they are different.

     This book was really good. It tought me a lot. I think that there is more then just what someone looks like. Someone could look really strong on the outside but be really weak and fragile on the inside.

Sonnet

Our city is drenched with rain today

Sad silence comes to us on rainy days

A gushing wind that sweeps us all away

Feelings not mutual, shall we p’raise

Staying inside all morning and all night

Until the sun comes back we wait and wait

We can only wish for the burst of bright 

If sun does not come it just was not fate 

Although without the rain there may be drought

Crops will grow and thirst will be quenched 

Lives will go on, the rain shall not fade out

For rain is good, not something to be benched

Rain may cause some change at heart but it’s good

We like things like rain, just as we should

Stay

     The book “Stay” by Deb Caletti is a really good, complex book. It’s about a girl named Clara. Clara is like any other teenage girl. She thinks and feels normal. 

     But then Clara finds true love and her life turns into a complete crazy mess in good and bad ways. At first, Christian seemed perfectly harmless and normal. They met each other and it was love at first sight. They were harmless; just two people who spend all their time together.

     But then Christian gets more and more obsessive and it gets worse. Clara can’t even have dinner without him being there. It gets so bad that he starts stalking her and Clara starts to get scared.

     If I were Clara I would be really scared myself. It is unimaginable to be stalked.  Even if it is your boyfriend. They didn’t even know each other very long when he started acting strange and creepy. Clara tries to break up with him but he does not leave her alone. Eventually, they have to go as far as telling her dad and calling the police.

     This story makes me think a lot about how intense that must be for a family. Clara’s mom had also died. You don’t find out until the end that she had drowned and that it was the dads fault. It was a really intense scene and really scary. Especially since after that, Clara almost drowned.

     I also feel that if Clara's fathers perspective was included, the book would be completely different. He is a big part of the story. He had to do with many of the events that took place. I like how Deb Caletti decided to only share Clara's part because we would have already known the mysterious secrets if the dad's point of view was revealed. 

Martin Espada

    Martin Espadas poems “The New Bathroom Policy at English High School”, “Revolutionary Spanish Lesson”, and “Two Mexicanos Lynched in Santa Cruz, California, May 3, 1877” all show discrimination. I think that Martin Espada has experienced this type of racial discrimination in his life. This is based on the furry he expresses in his writing. I can also relate to many of his points about unfairness.
    In the poem “The New Bathroom Policy at English High School” Martin Espada gives the reader a clear picture of boys speaking Spanish in the bathroom of an English school. The principle is in the bathroom stall when he hears his name. Although he does not know what the boys were saying about him, he assumes the worst and immediately bans Spanish from being spoken in the school bathroom. The action of banning Spanish was discriminatory towards the boys because they were not even given the chance to defend themselves. Their language, a huge part of their culture was taken away from them without a fight. Martin Espada did not express his anger so openly as he did in other poems. Instead, he made the poem brief and made the reader acknowledge the discrimination by getting right to the point. As I thought about this for a while, I came to a conclusion that the principle was most likely white and had never had his culture or language taken away from him.
    In “Revolutionary Spanish Lesson” there is a boy who is upset because his name is continuously mispronounced. I can infer that his name is of great importance to him because of the way he describes how he wants to “hijack a busload of Republican tourists.” I also feel as though this poem is based off of the author’s personal experiences. I think this considering that his name is Martin. It is a name descended from a non-American culture. It is Spanish and is usually pronounced differently in America. Perhaps it is culturally special to him because the mispronunciation affects him greatly. It is unfair and discriminate towards people who’s names are always mispronounced when people do not care enough to try to get it right. I can relate to this issue because my name isn’t very common and it is annoying when nobody can pronounce it.
    In “Two Mexicanos Lynched in Santa Cruz, California, May 3, 1877” Espada sets a scene from the past. It involved vigilantes taking charge and people being hung. I think Martin Espada wants the readers to think about the abusive power in this situation. People of different cultures were being tortured and discriminated. Another sign of the authors relationship to Spanish culture is when he involves Spanish rituals. This includes “the Virgen de Guadalupe” and “Dia de los Muertos.”
    The three poems, “The New Bathroom Policy at English High School”, “Revolutionary Spanish Lesson”, and “Two Mexicanos lynched in Santa Cruz, California, May 3, 1877” by Martin Espada, all show discrimination. Though all the topics are different, the author seems to relate back to discrimination in every poem. According to his writing, it is something he is passionate about and feels he needs to get his point across. I agree with these multiple issues. Discrimination is a big problem and must be identified by all people.

Just Listen To Yourself

     In the book I'm reading, Just Listen by Sarah Dessen, the main character, Annabel, is having trouble communicating with everyone she meets. There's her mom, who wants her to continue modeling when it's not in her best interest. There's her sister Whitney, who's eating disorder is adding weight on the whole family, and she just doesn't know that. There's Sophie, her ex-best friend, who doesn't really know the full truth about the night she fought with Annabel. And then there's Owen, a quiet boy at their school. Owen and Annabel barely know each other, but Owen has already taught Annabel to be honest, be courageous, and really listen to other people. The book is called Just Listen meaning just listen to others, but I think the title really has a deeper meaning.

     Reading this book has taught me a lot about opening up to other people in your life. There are so many people worth getting to know around you that you wouldn't be exposed to otherwise. At my point in the story, you are starting to really get to know Annabel's character, and I'm seeing the way that she interacts with others. To me, I see that Annabel is a very good listener. She always listens to what her sisters and parents have to say, and of course what Owen tells her. Although she finds it easy to listen to other people, I feel like Annabel has a harder time listening to herself.

     Annabel always tries to please others and tell them exactly what they want to her. I feel as if Annabel isn't listening to herself or her needs. Owen is always telling her to just listen, and Annabel always listens to Owen. I think that if Annabel really listened to herself, she would tell her Mom that she didn't want to model. She would tell her sister Whitney that she needed to take care of herself, and explain what a weight she was putting on the family. She would tell Sophie that it was never really like that and she didn't know the true story. And she would tell Owen what she really thought about him, and how she was planning to go about it.

     I think that everyone can definitely relate with Annabel. I'm pretty sure there has most likely been a point in everyone's life when they didn't listen to what they wanted, and instead went the easy way out and put someone else's priorities before their own. Obviously, it's okay to put someone else before yourself. What most people don’t realize is it’s not selfish to address your own needs. There comes a point in everyone's life when it's important to show what you want and listen to yourself. 

It's Kind of a Funny Story (kind of spoiler)

 The book It’s kind of a funny story is a great book written by Ned Vizzini. The book is about a boy named Craig who is mentally depressed and suicidal. Craig is a freshman in high school and he is under a huge amount of stress. Craig used to be on anti-depressants, but then he stopped because he thought he was all better. But he wasn’t. One night, Craig was really serious about killing himself, he even thought of a plan. At three in the morning he was going to go to the Brooklyn bridge and jump off of it, but he started to freak out and instead he called suicide hotline and they told him to go to a hospital.

     I think Craig did the right thing by calling the suicide hotline. I bet it would be really, really hard to just stop in the middle of about to kill yourself and call someone. That is really intense stuff to just stop in the middle of doing. Craig is a smart kid, he knows what hes doing and I think he just had a really bad night and freaked out. I feel so bad for Craig, he is only 14 years old and he is immensely suicidal. The only people that know is his family and that must be a really hard thing to hide.

     Craig got the full treatment he needed at the hospital. They sent him to a mental unit in the hospital that helped him realize that he has his whole life ahead of him and he shouldn’t end it. Craig was suicidal the entire first part of the book, and what I think really triggered him to almost kill himself, are two very important things in his life. First, I think his family and friends really didn’t help him all that much even though they wanted to. They even made him more depressed without meaning too. Also, I think that Craig’s school also made him more suicidal, he had too much pressure on him.

     I think one of the reasons that Craig became more depressed was because of his friends and family. Of course they all love him very much and never meant to make things worse but they did. His family is always asking him how he is doing and they are always wondering if he needs something. This makes him feel like there is something wrong with him, like he is crazy and he should feel bad about himself. That is not going to help him in life. Also I think that his friends don’t realize it, but they don’t help much either. They don’t know that Craig is suicidal and they joke around with him a lot and act like friends should, and they are a little harsh on each other but in a loving way. But what they don’t realize is, that Craig probably doesn’t take it like that. He feels that his friends aren’t really serious about life. Also Craig’s best friend named Aaron is dating the girl he likes and that must be really hard. He has to watch them be in love with each other while he is just sort of there.

     The other thing that I think stressed Craig out is his school. Craig is a freshman and he lives in New York just like me. He has to take a specialized test to get into the high school that he wants to go to. So he starts studying really, really hard and he gets into that school. The only problem is, that it is a really high pressure school that stresses him out a lot and he has a lot of pressure to do well. I can relate to Craig, my school isn’t like that, but I am taking that same exact test and I know how hard it is. And if you get in, the school is really hard and stressful and it can’t help Craig at all. It will just make him more depresse
     It’s kind of a funny story is a really amazing book and since Craig is basically my age, I feel like I can really connect with him. Eventually in the end, everything gets sorted out and he isn’t depressed anymore. In this book I feel like I can really picture everything that happens. I can follow Craig’s life and know whats going on. I feel bad for Craig. How awful must it be to be going through such a rough patch in your life and only be in 9^th grade! I mean that is really intense stuff he is going through. Overall, Craig made the right choice to call that suicide hotline because otherwise, he would have died.

The Member of the Wedding

I am currently reading The Member of the Wedding by Carson McCullers. It is a great classic book about a girl named Frankie. This book takes place in 1946, Frankie is a 12 year old girl who is very bored with life in general. It is the middle of the summer and she has nothing to do.                                                                                                                                   Frankie’s brother named Jarvis is getting married. Since Frankie is bored, she feels really excited for the wedding. She has a crush on it almost. Frankie’s family has a cook named Bernice. Bernice is Frankie’s best friend, because she doesn’t really have anyone else.  Bernice and Frankie were playing around one day and Frankie got really mad because Bernice was teasing her about the wedding.

The next thing you know, Frankie has thrown a knife across the room because she is so mad. I think Frankie just lost control, she must be going through a rough time in her life right now and she must have just lost it. I understand why she went too far, she needed some excitement in her life. She doesn’t feel like she is a part of anything and she is depressed and lonely. If I was her, I would tell someone about what she is feeling and why. It’s not good to hold in a grudge, it will just make you more mad and angry.

On one hand I think I can relate to Frankie and know and understand what she is going through. On the other hand, maybe she is over reacting just a little bit. I think I can relate to Frankie, well not completely but on some level. She is twelve years old, that is not a very fun age to be. Also, she Is really bored it’s the middle of summer and she has nothing to do. I know that I get very annoyed when its summer and I’m bored. She must be even more bored because there were no camps and her friends weren’t around or anything. I think in general Frankie is so bored that it causes her to do irrational things that she knows is wrong. Apparently she broke the law that summer but I don’t know what she did because I’m not that far into the book. I wonder what drives her to do all those crazy things. I mean it is just because she is bored or is it because something else?

I understand that Frankie is bored but I also think that she is overacting just a little bit. She is saying that after the wedding of her brother, she wants to run away from home and stay with them. Honestly, I think that’s a little bit extreme if you ask me. Once school starts again, she isn’t going to be as bored. Also she will be older and have more friends. I think that she could at least make an effort to find someone to play with. And if not, she had the cook who could do stuff with her. Even though I understand that she is only twelve, she could at least brainstorm ideas. She also lives near her first cousin John Henry, who she says she doesn’t like playing with but she should just make the best of it.

The member of the wedding is a really fantastic book that is nice and challenging. It has great language and I feel like I am right there next to Frankie. I like how you can follow her life while it is still in third person. I would definitely recommend it.

Ninteen Minutes Whose Perspective Is Missing

    This week I have chosen to write about which perspective and whose perspective is missing. I am currently reading a book called “Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Picoult. It is about a school shooting. It is told in many different perspectives and it goes back and forth from the past. In the story a young boy named peter goes into his school and starts shooting people. He kills ten people including one teacher. No one knows why he did it and no one knows how he got away with it.

     I think that injustice was served that day for all the families that lost a kid that day. There are about five main characters so far. Alex who is a middle aged women who is a judge and has a teenage daughter named Josie who got injured in the shooting. Josie is another perspective and so is Lacy who is Alex’s best friend and is a doctor. She has a son named Peter who is another perspective and he was the one who shot the kids. And a police officer named Patrick who investigates the scene of the crime.

     In “Nineteen Minutes” Josie has a boyfriend named Matt. He is a big part in her life and he isn’t one of the perspectives. In the school shooting he dies and it affects Josie’s life greatly. In the book it talks about how Josie feels like she isn’t important anymore. She is popular and pretty but she doesn’t feel real anymore. She feels like this fake person and the only person she can feel herself around is Matt. I think that is why it affects her more than anything else.  

     I think the author leaves Matt out of the picture because it wouldn’t have been as powerful when he died. We know it affects josie and that is really it. It would be interesting to see and hear Matt’s perspective but I feel like it’s more emotional and powerful to have just josie’s. It makes you feel really bad for Josie because connecting back to the beginning of the book, you realize he was the real person she was connecting to. In the book it says “either Josie was someone she wanted to be, or she was someone who nobody wanted” That is a really deep quote and it makes you realize that she feels really out of place even though she is really popular. Then later in that part, it talks about how Matt makes her feel better.  When she was hugging Matt she was thinking “I’m lucky, at that moment she could not remember anything but what it felt like to be adored” Being around Matt made her feel good and that is why I think the author left him out of the book, so when he was gone you could really feel how awful Josie felt and what she was going through.